A Little Levity

Heard this one today behind the bowling alley by the train tracks.  Thought I'd share.

Said one tramp to another, "I think I'm going to quit smoking.  It's becoming too dangerous."
"Really?", asked the other.
"Yes," replied the first, "Twice today I picked up a cigarette butt and someone nearly ran me over!"

Ha!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Daidi na Nollag!

Donga Dai!

Nollaig Shona Duit!

I spent all last night placing my hand-made ornaments on people's doorsteps.  Happy Christmas!

Now this old elf needs some Christmas sleep!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Op Ed: "A Tool Most Useful & Dangerous"

There has been a lot of buzz on social media since my post this afternoon, wondering whose today's guest essayist would be.

It's been a long time since we heard some words of wisdom from my old friend Gumball, noted Hobo Historian and legend of his craft.  His offering this evening certainly does not disappoint and will well worth the wait.  Enjoy.



I've walked the hallowed streets of transiency for near four decades.  

Before that, I knew the life-style through my brother, my uncle and my great-grandfather, who were proud vagrants of the train & way-fare variety.  I don't bring these topics up to boast, oh no.  There are men who have been living the lifestyle a lot longer and more effectively than I, who consider myself a mere steward of this earth.  

A student, never more.

Instead, I bring up my years ingrained in this lifestyle as credentials to comment on some of the changes I've observed, both in the short- and in the very long-term.

Technology is a tricky thing.  Used modestly it allows us some beautiful advances, such as chicken hock that can last, unrefrigerated, for months.  Or a way to make an egg be fully cooked yet so deliciously runny.  But when abused--well, you know what happens when it's abused, friends.  When abused we have a populace that locks itself behind four walls and reinforced doors, or travels in the tight-packed insulated bubble of an automobile.  We end up with children who have never had opportunity to look up at a star-soaked sky, or old men who lie down in their death bed without ever watching the sun rise over an unknown horizon.

Technology has it's place in a transient's life--we're much better off than our fore-fathers in a goodly number of respects.  But there is a reason we choose to live this life, friends.  Let us not forget that.  

There is a reason we choose to live without the clutter of so-called modern convenience always at our fingertips.  There is a reason we abstain from the cutthroat rat-race of today's society.

For full disclosure, I freely admit that I am writing this essay from behind the glow of a computer's screen.  I sit here in the New Haven Public Library at 6:30 PM on a cold Wednesday evening, although the temperature in here is a comfortable 72 degrees Fahrenheit.  I rationalize this--perhaps presumptively--by using my time on-line to advocate for the Transient Lifestyle.  And (to me, most importantly), when I leave this warm building at the end of my hour, I will return to a bridge or the underside of a boat dock, build myself a fire and share stories of times past with my vagrant brothers of the night.

As we move forward into the future, we are bound to see more transients with access to technology--be it cellular phones, lap top computers or even television and radio hook ups.  Some will accept this as part of the changing culture, and others will despise such sights.  I only ask that you all, as individuals, periodically assess your technology use and make sure that you are staying within your own self-imposed boundaries.

As with any other luxury  technology can be used to the point of abuse.  Let us never forget our purpose, friends, and not allow our way to be deluded by the unneeded use of technological tools.  Our way of life is not easy, but it is important.

It always has been.

Keep the flame, my brothers.

GB

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Featured Guest Essay to be Posted Tonight!

It's been ages since we had a guest writer for The Transient Way. Well tonight I expect that to change!

I can't give details on who it is yet, but I guarantee you'll be thrilled. Stay tuned!

QOTW: The Clothes Make the Man

I open the mail bag, and what do I seek?
Here in my right hand, the question of the week!
Do you have a question? Come pass it along!
TrainTomOtt@Gmail.com!

Hello friends, today's Question of the Week comes to us from Cathy J. of Spring, Texas.

Cathy writes:
"Do you people just wear the same thing every day? Because that's just nasty."

Well, Cathy, personal commentary aside, sometimes it's just a matter of function when a vagrant chooses to employ the use of the same clothes from one day to the next. As the brisk fall transitions into a frigid winter, many of us elect to simply keep adding to our layers. The opposite is likewise true as the weather gradually warms again. So while we may well technically be wearing "the same clothes", our wardrobe is constantly evolving on account of need and function.

One hobo secret that I'll let you in on is how to store clothing items that are unneeded for the season. I once found a wonderful, thick woman's wool coat
out behind the bowling alley. She must have been a big lady, because that coat wrapped around me easy. Boy oh boy was that a fine coat. Wealthy woman, too, no doubt, on account of her throwing it out on account if just a few pinworms.

Anyhow, I wore that warm coat all through that winter and kept oh so toasty warm.

That spring, as the coat became heavy and uncomfortable in the warm rain, I employed an old hobo trick for storing items of seasonal value...I buried it!

It took some time to find her again, but it was sure worth the effort. That beautiful wool coat had eight full months to marinate in the earth, acquiring a near waterproof membrane of tight-packed dirt and mildew on the outer surface. What a great old coat that was.

I buried her again the following spring, but never could recall where I'd left it. Eight years later I still go look for her when I'm back that way. By now, I imagine, she'd be just about the ultimate barrier against the icy winds and snow.

Thanks for the question, Cathy J.! Keep them coming, everybody!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

A Hip Shimmy and a Leg Shake

Friends,

One interesting way some of my transient bretheren have chosen to keep warm is through dance.  While I am a little leery of any activity that burns excess calories (epecially during these cold winter months), it is gaining popularity.

What occurs is that a group of five or more vagrants will gather together in a central location, preferably out of the wind and near a fire.  Between two buildings in a downtown district would be a good location, especially with a burning trash can in the center of the alley.  Otherwise under a bridge or somewhere with a brick wall you can get good and hot would work fine.

One will crouch and bang two tin cans together, and at least one other will clap in time.  The rest will dance gaily about, exercising their muscles and building body heat to dispel the cold.

I was walking along 53rd Ave the other day looking for bottle caps.  There, to my left, near the post office, was an old transient dressed warm and dancing away.  What a sight!

It's a good idea, I suppose, but you'd best ensure you had a good meal to replace those calories.

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Cold Out There Tonight

Huddle with your fellow 'bo and dress warm tonight, friend. The cold will cut to the weary bone tonight.

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Brrrrrrr!!!

It's a good night to be close to a warm flame, with a pair of heavy mittens and a tin can full of bubbling hot water!

I add a squirt of maple syrup that I find in packages outside the movie theater, and a little nip of Hobo Whiskey to help me sleep!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Recipe: "The King's" Nutty Buddy Fried Elvis Sandwich

It was 56 years ago today that the world was first introduced to a motion picture starring Elvis Aaron Presley, things would never the same again.

The "King of Rock & Roll" led a long, industrious career, and is probably best known for his love of savory fried nut-based sandwiches.

In that vein, here is an Elvis-inspired recipe of my own concoction, that I think you will like very much.  The Sandwich has left the building, and entered your belly!

"The King's" Nutty Buddy Fried Elvis Sandwich
Ingredients:
Bread
Butter
Oil
Grated yellow cheese (or regular cheese sliced fine with a pocket knife)
Four or five packets of fast food condiment Mayonnaise
Three index fingers full of peanut butter
Half a handful of salted peanuts
Square of chocolate
Pan
Shallow bowl
Turning stick

Oil up a pan and get it nice and hot and sputtery.  Butter two slices of bread.  In the shallow bowl, mix the cheese, mayonnaise and peanut butter.  Slather the spread onto one slice of bread (non-buttered side).  Place the excess peanuts and chocolate on top.  Cover with the other slice of bread.

Lie one of the butter-sides of the sandwich down.  Leave to cook for a few minutes.  Use the stick to see when it begins to brown.  When it is ready, use the stick to turn it over.

Serve hot, so the cheese is gooey and the chocolate melted.  Enjoy!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

www.google.com

blood in urine

yahoo answers i am peeing blood

pictures of bloody pee different ratios

what is wrong with thi

A Full Compliment of Appendages

Friends, let's be thankful, those of us that have a full compliment of appendages.  Can you imagine what life would be like without an arm, or a leg, or a hand or a foot or even a few of our precious fingers or toes?  We may not appreciate them all on a daily basis, but we utilize these appendages more than we tend to realize or appreciate.

If you have full use of all of your facilities, try to take some time to appreciate them.  Care for them, allow them a warm soak in a truck stop sink, or rub them down with some spare oil.  Our arms and legs do a lot for us, friends.  Let us not forget that.

And if you happen upon a poor soul who has a hook for an arm or a solid oak block for a foot, give him a hand, so to speak.  Help him out, make something easier for him.  Something simple, but meaningful.  I guarantee you it will be appreciated.

In solidarity,

Train Tom

RECIPE: Summer Sizzlin' Pulled Pork

I talked recently about the wonderful, varied tastes of summer.  To this old bag-man, nothing accompanies a hot summer day better than some greasy and flavorful barbeque.

This one's a keeper, friends.  Why not give 'er a try tonight?

SUMMER SIZZLIN' PULLED PORK
Ingredients:
Pack of salted ham lunch-style sandwich slices
Three good handfuls of bbq sauce packets (free, with a little insistence, at most fast food restaurants and gas stations)
Two mustard packets
Taco sauce packet (optional)
Bread/Bun pieces (optional)
Tin foil
Small cup of water
Clean stick
Rag
Metal box with holes in the sides
Three good smears of grease or oil

Get a medium sized fire going.  Set the metal box on top of it.  Make sure holes are punched in the sides of the box so that the fire can stay good and hot underneath it.  Allow the box to get very hot to the touch.

Meanwhile, form a shallow bowl out of a few sheets of tin foil.  Smear the bowl down with a goodly amount of grease or oil.  Put the tin foil bowl on top of the box, and let it warm.  Drizzle a few swigs of water onto the tin foil bowl, it should sputter and steam up real nice.

Empty all of the condiment packets into the sputtering water.  Mix it up nice, so that it is a consistent light brown color.  Using the rag, carefully remove the bowl from the heat.

While the bowl and barbecue slurry is still good and warm, add all the meat slices to the bowl one at a time.  Mix the sauce so that it slathers both sides of all meat slices.

Put the bowl back on the metal box.  As it heats, add small amounts of water periodically so that it doesn't burn.  Allow the sauce to reduce and thicken.

Using the rag, remove the bowl a final time.  Lay out bread.  When the meat is cool enough to handle, pick up each piece and "pull" it apart into small chunks or strips.  Fill each bread piece with a generous amount of meat.  Drizzle sauce over the top of each, and add pepper to taste.

Yum, yum!  It's a lot of work, but it's well worth it.  I find it's best to cook this up just before nightfall, so I can sit back in front of my fire in the warm summer dusk, listening to the crickets and enjoying life.

In solidarity,

Train Tom

Backyard Grill Buffet!

It's summertime, friends.  Hot days and muggy, serene nights.  One of the wonderful perks of nice weather is that it draws so many carpet-walkers out of their shells.  I was at the playground earlier today looking for coins in the sandbox, and it was wonderful to see how many of them were out enjoying the weather with me, talking and laughing and preparing food far from their stuffy kitchens.

Warm weather sure brings some delicious smells and tastes outdoors, and either later today or tomorrow I will be sharing one of my very favorite hearty summertime hobo meals.  Today, though, I'd like to talk about being neighborly and sharing a bite with a friendly wayward carpet-walker.

The families I encountered at the playground were enjoying some grilled meats and vegetables at the nearby pavilion.  After working up a little courage (I'm always a little nervous about striking up social conversation with non-vagrants, as some can be very judgmental), I decided to wander over and introduce myself.  I'm glad I did.

At first they seemed to be a little leery as to why my hands and knees were saturated with sand, and that I was wearing several layers of duct tape as shoes.  I lightened the mood with a joke about two transgendered magicians that had wandered onto a pirate ship.

When all was said and done, I ended up being offered a piece of grilled chicken, grilled & buttered corn-on-the-cob and a can of soda-pop before I was sent on my way.

I encourage you to try to get out there and enjoy the company of carpet-walkers and their tasty grilled meats, complete with seasonings, rubs and marinades.  It really does make for a nice change of pace from your traditional hobo slurry.

For my shy readership, there are less-social alternatives to striking up a conversation at a playground or park.  A great way to get a few bites of this sort of food is by helping yourself to the large buffet that is the average American neighborhood.  Most carpet-walkers will leave their grills unattended for long stretches, and it's really unlikely that they will miss a half a hot dog, quarter of a steak or chicken breast skin.  Some frown upon the practice, but helping yourself to a sample really doesn't do anyone any harm--as long as you don't go overboard!  Make sure to leave them more than plenty for the working man.  By picking a half dozen or so grills instead of focusing on just one, everyone can enjoy their fair share.

And, hey, perhaps the carpet-walkers will end up sticking around to tend to their grills.  That's great, too!  Stop by, say hello, offer a smile, a story or an anecdote.  They'll no doubt share some of their bounty with a weary traveler.

Remember to always be respectful and courteous.  There's almost always plenty to go around.

In solidarity,

Trian Tom

Salt Packing

It is very dry around the country this summer, and most people are forgoing rigorous salt-packing for their non-canned items, such as a cut of meat.  "The moisture is not in the air", they say, "The mold will stay away!"

Even on very dry days there is still a risk of contaminating your precious food, especially when the air temperature is very hot.  If you are lucky enough to be transporting a hock of meat, it is best to take the time to properly salt-pack it if you aren't going to eat it within a few days.

People having been using salt to preserve food for thousands of years.  Salt has even been used as a form of currency when it was not readily available.  They say that wars have been fought, kingdoms toppled and vast stretches of the world's land discovered all because of the salt-trade.  What a wonder!

Salt is not nearly as valuable today, and you can find all the salt you need, for free, with half a day's effort.  Simply hit up all the fast food restaurants and find your salt packets in the same way you do ketchup or taco sauce packets.  A good way is to go when its busy and walk up to the counter as if you are already dining, and ask if you can have "more salt for your meal".  9 times out of 10, the cashier won't even realize you hadn't previously ordered anything.

Make the rounds to perhaps 10 fast food restaurants, and then go again later in the day when the shift has changed.  You will have all the salt you need.  If you are so inclined, share the rest of your bounty with a needy fellow in exchange for a tale or a song.

Salt-packing your meat is easy.  Simply drizzle your meat with a little oil or grease (water works fine, too, in a pinch), and then put a good 1/8" layer of salt on the top of the meat.  Don't be stingy!  The top layer of this salt can be re-used later, so don't be shy to use as much as you need.  Pack it down nice and firm into the surface of the meat.  Lay a cloth or piece of tin foil over the salt, then turn it over, and do the same on the other side.  Apply salt in a similar fashion to the sides of the meat, and then wrap it tightly.  Your meat will keep for months! (Although mine never seems to stick around that long!  Ha! Ha!)

Not only is your meat going to keep from spoiling this way, but this dry salt-marinade will actually make the meat more tender and tasty when you do end up boiling it.  Salt Packing: A Functional and Flavorful Discipline!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

A Good Old-Fashioned Meat-Fold

If you have a hungry group with a sparing amount of supplies available, a Meat-Fold can be a great way to quell those hunger pangs.

A meat-fold is a communal activity.  Basically, you gather all your meat slices (the kind that come in packets, such as turkey or honey ham) and lay them out on a picnic bench.  I'd say the average packet contains about 20 slices, give or take.  Then have everyone bring their garnishes--cheese, condiments, oils, pickles and the like.

The original idea of a meat-fold is that these garnishes can be distributed between some of the meat, and then the meat is folded over on itself, hiding what is (or isn't) inside.  When garnishes are limited, some of the meat will not have anything in it.  Other meat will have a nice dollop of mustard, or oil, or pepper or whatever else has been brought.  The folds are handed out in equal ration, at random, to those participating.

The intent is that some will feel lucky when they get a fold filled with goodies on the inside.  But, even in instances where your meat-fold is empty on the inside, you still don't feel too bad...even in the worst case, you're still getting some delicious meat!

In solidarity,

Train Tom

A Pack of Matches and a Small Bell

I lost a pack of matches and a small bell somewhere on Devil's Glen Road in Bettendorf, Iowa today.  More than likely it's near Devil's Glen Park (but not in the park, as I took inventory shortly after returning to the road).

If you find these items, enjoy them.  The great Lost & Found of life is a way for two people who will never meet to share a sacred connection.

In solidarity,

Train Tom